Why Mindful Adaptation?
Photo by Robin Jonathan Deutsch on Unsplash
I recently had a conversation that felt like a warm embrace that whispered, “Keep going. You’ve got this.” Speaking with a seasoned professional in the diversity, equity, and inclusion space, the woman I spoke with — a global executive and Black woman — voiced her frustration with the performative diversity and inclusion she is experiencing all around her. On the one hand, there are glimmers of hope because after all, equity is getting considerable airtime in corporate America. On the other hand, she acknowledged that people aren’t fully investing in the developmental journey that is required to truly grapple with, understand, and manifest equity in an organization. To realize the necessary change, we require more than simply a change in hiring techniques. The work requires a deep understanding of how we as managers and leaders recognize our own blindspots and biases, and how these shadows influence the professional growth, career trajectory, and opportunities that are afforded to our team members, colleagues, and future organizational leaders.
Life is (developmental) journey, not a destination
For the last number of years I’ve been pursuing things that interest me, intrigue me, and allow me to find my learning edges. Almost eight years ago, this journey started with an interest in mindfulness and meditation. This once-in-a-while practice blossomed, and quickly included annual multi-day silent meditation retreats. After a few years developing a steady meditation practice, I began volunteering with a meditation community that shares mindfulness practices with people who are incarcerated in the DC Metro area. About two times per month (before the pandemic), I head to a local area detention facility to lead small group meditation practices and mindfulness discussions with men and women in jail.
In the words of Bryan Stevenson — lawyer, advocate, and founder of Equal Justice Initiative — this was an opportunity to get proximate to people with considerably different lived experiences. By leveraging mindfulness tools, and getting proximate to people currently in jail, I’ve had the chance to widen my awareness. By this I mean, widening my self-awareness, getting to know my (many) blindspots, understanding how I am perceived, and how my awareness, or lack thereof, impacts people in my immediate orbit.
I walked into the detention facility classroom one evening and was soon joined by Michael, an older gentleman who was a regular mindfulness student at the time. He sat down next to me and started to talk about his week. Michael had a conversation earlier in the week with his daughter’s mother. She told him that she would be moving away, and taking their daughter with her.
He shared with me that he’d stopped himself from talking and he simply listened to the person on the other side of the phone. He didn’t try to cut her off, or rebut what she was sharing with him. He didn’t get angry and refute her decision to move. He just listened. He recognized in that moment his response would dictate his future relationship. If he erupted or became defensive — which was his usual go-to reaction — he could jeopardize seeing his daughter.
As Michael recounted this story during the few minutes before our class began, I experienced an incredibly tender moment of pure humanity. I saw a small window in the world of a father in jail. I heard the hardship in the relationships that awaited him when he was released. I witnessed the power of mindfulness in the moment he recognized he had self-awareness and choice in his response. And that choice would have ripple effects in his relationships. I learned that our conditioning makes it easy to separate people in jail from the roles they play in families and communities.
I also learned that life is made up of a series of moments. Moments can land someone in jail — and moments can change the trajectory of a conversation. These types of moments are all dots along our individual developmental journey. I can’t speak for Michael. I don’t know how his awareness in that moment may have created ripples in his wider universe. For me, my takeaways may not be terribly profound; however, they include the idea that small everyday observations and actions tell a larger story about our everyday existence. It’s in these common social interactions where we have a chance to impact and adapt in our relationships — personally and professionally — if only we are aware.
Hello, Mindful Adaptation
As an organizational change practitioner and mindfulness student, I am interested in how people and organizations adapt, grow, and change. My writing here will include reflections of my personal and professional journey — and the actual everyday application of theories, frameworks, and practices drawn from inspirational sources like Art of Hosting, TheoryU, Non-Violent Communication, Vipassana, systems thinking and change theory. Too often many great ideas exist purely in theoretical frameworks. I seek to bring them into everyday application.
Mindful Adaptation comprises the following:
Awareness: This is what happens when we take off our blinders and step out of statements like, “that’s just the way things are.” When we practice widening our awareness, how does it shift the ways we see each other and relate to one another?
Collaboration: As we embrace widening levels of awareness, how do we interact differently? When we’re not on the offense or defense, what becomes possible?
Deep listening: Have you ever noticed how you listen? Are you usually distracted? Multi-tasking? Do you listen to your colleagues and manager thinking that you know what they are going to say? Are you listening to reply? Let’s see what happens when you relax and listen for the sake of listening.
Empathy: This is how we understand the feelings of another person even if we don’t have the same shared experience or feeling. Empathy involves deep listening, and creating and holding space for feeling.
Leadership: Using the qualities of mindful adaptation, insightful leadership emerges. With greater levels of self-awareness and systems-awareness, new ideas, solutions, and ways of working can take shape. By leading with relationships, we can transform organizations.
These interrelated pieces all have the following in common: they all require intentionality, and they all take place on a developmental continuum where there is no predefined destination, or official arrival. John Lewis, the late Congressman and civil rights leader, said “Democracy is not a state. It is an act…” As communities across the U.S. continue to realize the true meaning of democracy, it is in the everyday commitment and everyday actions of ordinary people — managers, executives, and employees — that serve as the foundational building blocks that create organizational culture and fuel change.
I hope to bring these themes together in various permutations throughout my writing and reflections to illuminate different ways of working together, running organizations, and adapting to change.